The question came from a viral video, and the answer matters more than the joke: people facing a Class B misdemeanor for a small bag of marijuana routinely turn it into a felony by trying to hide it. Brian Foley explains in this video.
Possession is possession
Health & Safety Code § 481.121 prohibits knowingly possessing marijuana. "Possession" means actual care, custody, control, or management. Where on or in your body the substance is located changes nothing about whether you possess it. If it is recovered, it is charged.
Concealment is a separate felony
Penal Code § 37.09, tampering with physical evidence, makes it a third-degree felony (2–10 years) to alter, destroy, or conceal any thing with intent to impair its availability as evidence, knowing that an investigation is pending or in progress. Texas courts have applied it to drivers who swallowed, dropped, or hid drugs once the lights came on. A person who conceals two grams of marijuana — a Class B misdemeanor eligible for Harris County's diversion program — to avoid a stop has traded that for a felony that is not.
Body-cavity searches
Officers cannot conduct a body-cavity search on the roadside. A search that intrudes into the body requires a warrant (or true exigency), must be conducted by medical personnel in a medical setting, and must be reasonable in manner. Roadside strip searches and cavity searches without a warrant have produced suppressed evidence and civil liability across Texas. If an officer says they intend to search you in that way, state clearly that you do not consent — and do not physically resist.
The practical rule
If you are stopped with something in the car, the worst thing you can do is move it, hide it, or eat it. Sit still, decline to consent to a search, decline to answer questions, and let a lawyer deal with what the officer actually finds under whatever legal authority the officer actually had. See our possession of marijuana page or call or text (713) 703-1718.